


The special relationship

by katiebuttercup



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Angst, Crush, M/M, Unrequited Love, Wishful Thinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-24
Updated: 2013-05-24
Packaged: 2017-12-12 20:40:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/815830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katiebuttercup/pseuds/katiebuttercup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes America hates the special relationship</p>
            </blockquote>





	The special relationship

Disclaimer: this is a work of fanfiction, no copyright infringement intended

 

Sometimes America hates the "special relationship" and all the "closeness" it implies. He wishes that he had simply cut off all ties to England in the war and let it die in the mud and sweat and tears. 

Maybe then he could have protected himself from the sheer amount of feeling that overwhelms him everytime they meet. 

England has a presence, not as powerful as America remembered it as a child, the power of an empire coiled in one man, but it still had the ability to steal the air from his lungs. 

The first time he really felt it was during the Second World War during the worst of the German bombing on London, the first time they had met in a long time and wounds from the past were still raw and bleeding. He had never told England that he had glimpsed the empire the night before their official meeting. England had been in his bed, little more than a cot, England had sacrificed many of his luxuries for the war effort without a second thought. 

His people sacrificed and so would he. 

The room had been badly bombed but America had seen the rise and fall of his chest, the ghastly wound over his heart caused by the attack on his centre forced America to look away. But even like that, prone and injured and clearly suffering America thought that England had never looked stronger than he could ever remember in his youth. He had taken a grevious blow and yet he was unbowed. 

When everyone predicted how long England could last before falling England had simply focused on victory there was no other option in england mind and then America knew that the hot burning sensation in his chest that had once been anger and spite had always been love.

And now...

America let out a soft puff of air fiddling with the pen in his hand, trying to let the tap tap of the pen lid against the table distract him, beside him Arthur raised an eyebrow silently. America stopped tapping the pen. 

It is a false sense of security having England beside him, he is a superpower now but there is no other nation he wants to be close to, whom he trusts implicitily, despite what others think England has never ever held back from telling America what he thinks. Their bosses may play at diplomacy but England does not.

The relationship is unfair he knows, he asks for things that often push England into an untenable situation but its because he knows England can walk that fine balance that America allows it. 

As close as he pulls England to him; dinners both diplomatic and personal and visits, enjoying England's undivided attention he is never close enough. It's never what America truly wants, and he's already asked for so much already he can't brng himself to take that one last step to unbalance this finely tuned relationship that America treasures. 

He is content to watch England, knowing he is always on his right hand side at meetings and press conferences, and here in these meetings that suck the life out of all of them it doesn't seem so bad when England is there. He watches the muscles in Englands forearm flex as he uses his hands to make his points and wonders what it would be like to be held by him, not as a child colony or a nation but as a lover.

Francis has never been shy about his past with England, many of his stories making the Puritan in America blush but also to wish.

England smirks at him as the meeting comes to a close letting out a subtle sigh of relief and Americs heart trips at the smile bestowed on him as the meeting room empties and lets England's voice over him. They will spend the day together talking policy and it will be the best kind of torture. 

He hates this special relationship but he will take whatever England offers with an open heart because its so much less then what he wants but it's more than he deservs and he will  
do anything to keep England close, even if it hurts


End file.
